20-40-60 Etiquette: Is it OK to host your own party?
QUESTION: Would it be proper for my husband and I to plan and host our 25th wedding anniversary? The parties I have gone to usually have family members as hosts, but our children don’t live in the state.
CALLIE’S ANSWER: Absolutely, what an amazing celebration! Congratulations!
LILLLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Celebrate and enjoy! It’s a big milestone and I don’t see any issue with your wanting to share it with others. On the invitation, though, consider specifying “no gifts” or a related message so you aren’t throwing your own party and expecting gifts out of it. That’s where traditional etiquette gurus draw the line. Happy anniversary!
HELEN’S ANSWER: Enjoy planning your 25th wedding anniversary party. This anniversary is usually associated with silver, so maybe you can use that color in decorating. I think it is wonderful that you want to host the party. That way, if your children can come, everything already will be done and you all can enjoy each other. Yay for 25 years! Congratulations!
GUEST’S ANSWER: Christina Nihira, community volunteer: Wedding anniversaries celebrate a couple and their enduring love. Most parties are held for significant milestones like 25th and 50th but really, anytime is good time for a bash.
Past etiquette rules dictated that it was bad form to host one’s own celebration. Such protocol disappeared decades ago, and it’s considered perfectly acceptable for the couple themselves to host a party. It can be large or small, informal or extravagant.
The point is to gather and rejoice the couple’s cherished marriage. Congratulations and cheers to you!
Callie Athey is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is 40-plus, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email email@example.com.