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Laugh Lines: Hold the phone

You need assistance or have a question, so you pick up your phone and call. And then you wait and wait, listen to music, listen to announcements ... 15 minutes later, you're still on hold. [THINKSTOCK PHOTO]
You need assistance or have a question, so you pick up your phone and call. And then you wait and wait, listen to music, listen to announcements ... 15 minutes later, you're still on hold. [THINKSTOCK PHOTO]

Being put on hold could be where all the road rage is coming from. When you think about it, most of us have spent at least half our lives waiting on calls that are being transferred to where (Saudi Arabia, Peking – no one knows) or to some nebulous person who will  "take care of your problem." The worst scenario is to have someone say, "Could you hold a minute?" before you can get a word in. Usually, you end up being disconnected and are left sitting with a dead phone in your hand.

 Think about it, being put on hold is like waiting for a mechanic to finish pulling a nail out of your tire while he stops to run three lube jobs through and his assistant walks off to hose the green plastic plants at the curb.

Just recently, I was put on hold while waiting to tell someone in "service" my dryer was running hot. Twenty minutes later, a recording with an authoritative voice admonished me not to hang up or I would be punished with an even longer wait. So, I kept waiting, listening to a countdown of how many people were on the line ahead of me, while my delicates smoldered and my lint filter melted.

If you’re put on hold while you’re waiting for a medical or drug coverage question to be answered, you will sit there all day holding the phone after they have asked you your age, Social Security number, address, children’s ages, husband’s snoring habits, medicines you’ve taken over the last five years and the first three numbers of your cell phone. When they finally come back on the line, they won’t have the answer but have another number they will be glad to share with you.

Things have gotten so bad it’s almost impossible to speak coherently when your call goes through on the first try. The shock is so great you can’t even remember your maiden name, much less your zip code.

Peggy Gandy

Humorist Peggy Gandy, retired Oklahoman Society editor/columnist, takes a tongue-in-cheek look at everyday life. Read more ›

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