Family Talk: What husbands wish their wives knew about men
Several decades ago a book was written entitled “What Wives Wish Men Knew About Women.” It sold almost 2 million copies.
As a young husband (Yes, I was a young husband decades ago!), I not only read it, I studied it. I tried to apply it. What man wouldn't want the “inside scoop?"
The book started with this bold statement:
“Women have needs which men do not understand. Here are workable solutions to the problems and frustrations today's woman faces in her home and family life ... this book shows the way to satisfying solutions.”
One of the first rules I learned in Salesmanship 101 is “Underpromise/over-deliver.” I think the introduction was a bit of an overpromise. I don't know how many men and women were actually helped by this book, but I'll bet every reader experienced real world challenges trying to apply those “workable, satisfying solutions.” I know I did.
Now, it's time to flip the script. What do husbands wish their wives knew about men? To find out, I engaged in two reliable methods of journalistic research: 1.) I Googled the question, and 2.) I asked my friends on Facebook. Here's what I found.
The Google search stated there were 10 things men wish their wives knew:
1. I love her.
2. She is beautiful and amazing.
3. I am trying.
4. Hints don't work.
5. I want to be her No. 1. (You married me first before the kids.)
6. I want to be appreciated.
7. Positivity is attractive. (You are already beautiful. Act like it. Our kids are already great. Enjoy them. Stress less. Be grateful more.)
8. Her words matter to me. (Your compliments lift me, and your criticism wilts me.)
9. Sex matters.
10. Sometimes I just like to be left alone.
My Facebook inquiry netted the following results:
1. When you ask us what we're thinking and we say “Nothing,” it's really true.
2. Let us parent as dad's parent, not as mom's parent.
3. When you ask us to do something, don't follow along behind and do it over because you didn't like how it was done.
4. Don't play the “where should we go to eat” game, when you know you won't want to go where the man suggests.
5. Understand that we are often overwhelmed by how much you talk — 10 words to our one.
6. Silence on our part does not always mean something's wrong.
7. Your patience with the children is amazing.
8. Your inner strength and perseverance are enviable.
9. We like the way you look even without makeup. And we'd rather be on time without makeup than late with (LOL).
10. You knew we were this way when you married us.
Women could try playing this game with the man in their life. Sometime, when you're both in a relaxed mood and able to talk in complete, uninterrupted sentences, ask him, “What do you think men wish women knew about men?”
You'll make it easier for him to talk by putting the question in the third person rather than asking, “What do YOU wish I knew about you?” Let me know if you get some interesting answers!
Jim Priest is CEO of Sunbeam Family Services and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.