If you start falling behind, consider calling the people who sent the gifts by mail to assure them the gift arrived. Then you can follow up with a written note as soon as you can.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I know we’ve had this question before, but this issue comes up often and the person who asked it this time is from Kentucky, so we are tackling it again. (Hello, out-of-state readers, and thank you).
Now that is out of the way, you have several choices. You can check with the stores to see if they received it, or with your cousin, or write the bride and groom directly. Or you can wait and hope that eventually they will write.
Yes, they should acknowledge gifts promptly, and yes, people fall short of this ideal sometimes, and yes, it breaks all kinds of etiquette rules when they don’t thank people for gifts. That is a generous gift, and I understand why you want to make sure it arrived. Use your resources to find out that they got it, and then decide whether you want to let the issue go or call it to their attention.
Even if the purpose of a gift is to honor somebody else and not for our own gratification, it is nice to know the other person appreciates the effort. I hope by now you have received that thank-you. But try not to hold it against the couple forever if they fall short.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Since the store sent the gifts, you might check with them first to see if they were sent to the couple. I think if you have not heard anything after three months, you should politely call the bride or the groom and ask if the items arrived.
The couple certainly appreciates the expense and thought that went into the gift, so usually a thank you is forthcoming. Readers: This question keeps coming up. People really do want to know if their gifts arrived and were appreciated.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Kathy Walker, local community leader: This scenario is such a dilemma — “to call or not to call” the bride. Perhaps the plan of action would be to contact the two stores and ask whether they would give you a tracking number for the items that were delivered to the bride. If the gifts were documented as having been delivered, then you have three options.